Searching for a father for my son had landed me in Lake Orion in May of 2000.

It was Spring, 2004; I had been attending Oxford Community Church since September of the previous year. Justa few months earlier, our church had moved into the “Oakwood Wedding Chapel” building on Baldwin in Oxford. After that move, I had made the commitment to attend regularly by signing up to teach one of the preschool classes.

I figured what a great way to learn the bible - at a child’s level! Since I desired to serve, I wanted to be honest with the pastor of my background, and where I was coming from, so I scheduled a meeting with him. I shared with him in that meeting that I was a single parent of an 8 year old son. I admitted I had never been married and had been dating to “find a father” for my son. Searching for a father had landed me in Lake Orion in May of 2000.

The relationship that moved me 3 hours from my family hadn’t worked out. And the relationship that quickly followed that one had ended too. I found myself alone, very lonely, and still fatherless for my son. Tearful, and very, very broken, I shared much of my life with Pastor Larry that day. After confessing my hurts, Pastor Larry had a non-judgmental ear and a suggestion for me; Take a year sabbatical from dating. “Date God,” he told me. Study and learn the bible, find out what God had to say about me. Well, “OK!” I accepted that challenge. (He shared with me many years later he didn’t think I would actually do it.) My family also was shocked that my rebellious self was following his advice. For the next year, my son and I attended church regularly, small group bible study, and any other activity the church was doing. Ephesians was a particularly favorite study of mine due to the teaching on husbands and wives. I, of course, still wanted to be married some day! I read my bible regularly and prayed every night before going to sleep. I had a Christian friend at work that I spent lunch with. She told me about a talk radio station that I could listen to while I was at work. Christian leaders such as David Jeremiah and Randy Carlson filled my afternoons with Godly teaching on life and parenting.

She also introduced me to Christian music - a little different than the sad country music and rap I was listening to. I wouldn’t say I had an “immediate” conversion to becoming a Christian - more of a gradual commitment to Christ. When I was baptized in May of 2004, my friend from work was there supporting me. She gave me an NIV bible. I came out of that sabbatical more content and confident in God’s plan for my life than I had ever been. I no longer felt the need to “look” for a father for my son. A wise friend pointed out to me that I found my heavenly Father while searching for an earthly one for my son. Wise friends are a treasure, aren’t they?

Today, I am almost 18yrs past that life changing challenge. I have been married for 14yrs, and have another child, a 12yr daughter. I wouldn’t trade those early days of my Christian walk for anything. Yes, I have greater wisdom and understanding now, but in those early days I had the hunger of a child. I believe God put the right people, at the right time in my path. I am thankful for God’s love, grace, mercy and patience for me. I am very thankful that He wanted more for me than I wanted for myself. Can you say Jeremiah 29:11? (“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”) If you can relate to this but aren’t sure what to do; get close to the One who made you. Lean into Jesus. Get into His word, find a good bible teaching church (LakePoint Community Church is a favorite of mine 😉), and surround yourself with people who know Him.

Thank God for Pastor Larry and his wife, Peggy. Our marriage was saved through their thoughtful, patient and loving skill.

First of all, my wife and I had owned Treeside Psychological in Lake Orion for 11 years and specialized in helping couples who were struggling in their marriages. We had a reputation for being “good” therapists. The death of our daughter in 2006 threw our marriage into a marital tailspin where we couldn’t stop the downward spiral that was leading to divorce. All of our skill and training didn’t help us. We tried multiple therapeutic interventions: separate therapy, week long intensive therapy and couples counseling. Our different ways of grieving were tearing apart the foundation of everything God had put in our marriage. As a last-ditch effort, we began grief counseling and couples support with Pastor Larry and his wife, Peggy.

Pastor Larry’s gift of patience and kindness began to slowly change the course of our downward spiral. My wife had told me that she was considering divorce. I was determined not to allow the grief to separate us; but I didn’t know what to do. This was outside of anything I had ever experienced. Even though it had been a few years since our daughter died, Pastor Larry and his wife began to walk with us through the pain of losing our daughter. My wife was angry and I was failing her. I had lost the ability to connect to an angry woman. Slowly, slowly their skill and support began to soften our hardened hearts.

Honestly, we were wounded people who dedicated our life to helping other wounded people. Pastor Larry and Peggy had a marriage that seemed ideal. Their story was nothing like our story. We had divorces, abuse, addiction, abandonment and had crawled out of the pit of humanity. They had not experienced any of our pain; yet they didn’t judge, they only loved.

An intervention with Pastor Larry is actually an encounter with God. This encounter with God is the only thing that began our journey of healing. Pastor Larry has the wisdom and the gift of healing. He has dedicated himself to his, God created purpose of healing marriages. Renee and I truly have “Harmony in the Home” that has lasted for over 10 years (the evidence of true healing). BONUS: The healing blessed us, our children, our family, and those we work with. The powerful ripple effect of God’s Love.

J & R R

I had a VERY GOOD experience using the communication tools Pastor Larry gave us! Last week, my daughter filmed me leaving the house and posted it to our family chat. I was irritated and triggered by it. I waited until the emotions subsided, then told her how it made me feel. I asked her if that was her intention. She was shocked and said absolutely not! She apologized profusely and I realized a trigger I did not know existed in me! Our relationship is better because I didn't blow and yell. We had a good talk, and now she knows to ask BEFORE filming someone and posting it, even if it is just family.  HS

After 10 years of marriage, we were at the point that we fought about and were annoyed by EVERYTHING. Nothing was right. How we spoke to each other, how we communicated and how we were raising our son.

Our son took a turn for the worst with his behavior because of the tension in our home. The respect was gone, our marriage was gone, and divorce was in our imminent future. The one thing we did agree on, however, was that we needed to do what was best for our son, and fight for what we had left.
We were introduced to Pastor Larry Hayward and scheduled our first counseling session. He helped us work through the beginning steps of getting right with God, working through our past, and forgiving those that wronged us. Often when we thought we were the only ones to have these problems, he reassured us that we were normal, and our feelings were valid! We had never heard more comforting words.

We knew at that point that we were in the right place, and on the right track. He helped us with communication tools to use as homework after each visit. We worked diligently on those steps to start repairing our friendship, our marriage, and most of all our love for each other and our family. After we felt like we were in a great place with our marriage, we started focusing on our son and his behavior.
Once again, we worked through the process of changing how we handled and reacted to situations with him. We began seeing a major improvement within a very short period.

We have now been married for over 12 years and we have never been so happy. We still have our disagreements, but we now have the tools to work through them, come to mutual decisions and move forward.

If it weren’t for the dedication that Pastor Larry has to marriages and families, we would most certainly be living separate lives today.  W & V